Tila Tequila, Brooke Hogan and Heidi Montage have a couple things in common. The first is that they all have dreams of becoming successful singers (LOL). They have all starred or star in reality show's on either Mtv or Vh1. Lastly, they are my three favorite musical trainwrecks that I just can't look away from. Let's take a few minutes to see who has the least promising career in music!
Let's start with Tila, who just happens to be on a 3 club tour of Australia. Yep, you heard right, just three. She is performing her trashy hit " I Fucked the DJ" You can watch the video of her soundcheck here. But I must warn you, your ears may bleed. Also take note of the sunglasses. They look like my Great Grandma took a Bedazzler to her glasses she had to wear for her glaucoma. Anyways, here is that link:
I also attempted to find another live performance by Tila, but the only thing besides her Ustream video's that comes up is an 8 second clip taken by a cell phone camera. So for her, there is no video's showing her with back up dancers or a band. Now for the FUN stuff! Tila released " I Love U" on Itunes in 2007, and the single sold only approx. 13,000 copies, which made her about $8600.
Here are the lyrics to " I fucked the DJ" All you have to do is read these to understand why her crappy music sells so little.
Let's move on to Heidi. She has such high hopes of becoming the next Britney Spears that she underwent numerous plastic surgeries in one day because she thought she needed to do that to become successful. How very sad. To be honest, Heidi's first album did even worse than Tilas. It sold a mere 658 copies in its first week of release. Ouch. But let's look at the things she does beat Tila at. Her first major performance was at The Miss Universe Pageant. She even had back up dancers! I am not gonna sit here and say l thought she did a good job performing...because she didn't. I am simply pointing out that Tila has NEVER performed anywhere with such a big audience and back up dancers. But for real, Heidi, you are the worst lip syncer on the planet. You can watch her video here and form your own opinion.
Besides if her career completely bombs she always has Spencer's career to fall back on.
Lastly, we have Brooke Hogan. It is super creepy that her dad is marrying someone that looks just like her. And that her mom is dating some kid the same age as her brother Nick. But that isn't what I am here to discuss. Brooke out of all 3 of these ladies has sold the most records/singles and has actually had a single reach the top 100. (#97 to be exact). Her album sold 127,000 copies. She also won a Teen Choice Award. Brooke has the most accomplishments in regards to music compared to the others. You can see the full list here on her Wikipedia page. I still don't think she is all that talented but I think out of the 3 she has the best chance for some sort of success. Here is a video of her performing. She definitely is not the best dancer and is also just a professional lip syncer. But here is her video. It is just a short clip. You don't need to see a whole performance to get the idea.
If I had to rank them from least most successful it would go as follows.
#3 Tila Tequila. This is based on the fact that all of her performances are filmed in her house and posted on Ustream by Tila herself. Also, because all of her songs are about nothing more than the fact she is a complete whore and a slut. Check out the lyrics for I fucked the DJ for the proof.
#2 Heidi Montag. She is really going to go nowhere, but at least she made it to performance in front of millions of people.
#1 Brooke Hogan. She has the most accomplishments and has actually worked with some big names in the industry. I still wouldn't buy any of her albums though.
This was just for fun, I am in no way a professional music critic, but I am a huge music fan and appreciate songs and artist's from all genre's and I would never buy any of these women's albums. Except maybe to give as a gag gift. Happy Birthday Mom!
Ha ha just love hurrdurrrr, i have been following all her comments and we both ganged up on Tila with one of her alias back in Jan 2010.
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