Monday, February 22, 2010

other blog...

I started a separate blog on wordpress also. I may still post on this one..just strictly to rag on Tila but my other account I will blog about other stuff too... so if you want to follow me there it is:

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Match made in hell....

Earlier today I was making jokes on Twitter that the only way Tila could pay her assistant Leo Madrid and Stylist Mr. Bradshaw was with pills and hand jobs (even though as someone pointed out, they would probably want handy j's from each other not Tila.) So, out of curiousity, I did a little investigation into Mr. Bradshaw. I just wanted to see what other celebs he has styled, compared to what they could pay versus what Tila could probably pay. In all honesty, he hasn't really styled anyone I have ever heard of. BUT, I did find a couple other things that struck me as interesting. It also proved to me just how much these two belong together.

It seems Mr. Bradshaw likes to use the same look over and over and over again. But hell, who better to give your left overs to than our friend Tila Tequila!?! They both are lacking in the creativity department. He only uses chains and sunglasses. I have no idea who could even see out of most of them, not to mention they are super fugly!! If you look at the second picture down, he used some almost identical to those in the shoot Tila did last week. You can see that video here if you really want too.

This I found mildly entertaining. Looks like both of these winners like to play with fake guns and try to look bad ass. At least Mr. Bradshaw admits to the gun being fake. Even though he insinuates that the gun is not fake by posting this under the pictures Mr. Bradshaw Playing with a "PROP".

How very "Gangster" of you! (insert Borat voice here) NOT!!!

This by far is the best!!!! Maybe she isn't actually paying him in pills! It seems our Mr.Bradshaw is actually an aspiring singer too! Maybe Tila offered him one of her great deals, because she is the worlds best manager (her words not mine). Watch out for a worldwide tour from these two, since RazB seems to be rethinking his deal with Tila. That would probably be good idea sir. If you are interested in hearing Mr. Bradshaw's music, you can hear it

As for my opinion on Leo Madrid....I just think he couldn't get hired by anyone else so he settled. I give him no more than another month sticking around with her. Unless she is giving out free handy j's.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Single to married in less than 10 hours...

Early this morning (U.S time) Tila proclaimed to be single. Hinting at her so called baby daddy A.R, who most believe is wannabe rapper/actor Avante Rose, that she no longer loved him. She also said she is ready to find someone who loves her. Which to me seems pretty quick if you think back to the fact that Casey Johnson died less than 2 months ago and was supposedly the "love of her life" and her "wifey".

Not even a half of a day later, actually less than 10 hours, Tila is then saying she proposed to her baby daddy and he said YES! That she is ready to get married, and all her fans should know she is since she was engaged to Casey.I don't believe she was ever actually engaged to Casey, but if she was, being ready to marry one person does not mean you are ready to marry just anyone. Especially if you just lost the person you claim to have loved so much. So I guess we should keep our eye's on for the exclusive video of her courthouse wedding. Let's hope Mr. Bradshaw doesn't style her, we all saw the pics of that disaster from her Australia "tour". Anyways, here are just a sample of her tweets about getting married.

@HoeHaveASeat on twitter reminded me of the fact that Tila not so long ago, proclaimed she was FULL lesbian and only wanted men as sperm donors. So much for that!

Tila is looking for a roommate.....

......and people are actually responding! Can you imagine the kind of work you would have to do for that woman? I don't know if I even want to put my brain through that kind of trauma. Here are just a few of the people that want to work for her...

No big surprise here...she does happen to be the Tila Army's #1 "soldier".

This Zach guy is even willing to massage Tila after a long day of Tweeting, we all know she doesn't do any REAL work. Just hope he is at least smart enough to wear gloves while he does it

This one claims to be a paramedic among other things. Which maybe wouldn't be such a bad thing. This way he could just deal with Tila's munchausen syndrome instead of her wasting time at an actual hospital. (You know she is gonna develop that shit) I would feel really bad for the baby or kid if I really believed she was pregnant or adopting. But she's not.

This one is just kind of pathetic. That is all.

Ummm.....I will wish you luck on that one. Have you watched her Ustream?

And yet another massage therapist! What is wrong with these people?!? But this one is also Bi! Good resume...very professional and classy.

But sadly, all of their efforts may have been in vain. She is now claiming to be marrying her baby daddy, who she is STILL hinting that it is Avante Rose. Sorry kids, looks like the bed is full. I do still feel bad for you, the ones still falling for her garbage.

Friday, February 19, 2010

Tila in the delivery room..

I saw this on, which is my favorite blog/gossip site on the internet! I saw this picture and immediately thought of our friend Tila! I'm sure this is what run's through everyone's mind, when they picture Tila actually giving birth. Not so much caring about the baby, but hopping onto twitter to share the news with the world so she can get her "high" off of her internet praise! "Hold on! Let me tweet this! Then I will hold my baby!"

Tila vs.Heidi vs. Brooke

Tila Tequila, Brooke Hogan and Heidi Montage have a couple things in common. The first is that they all have dreams of becoming successful singers (LOL). They have all starred or star in reality show's on either Mtv or Vh1. Lastly, they are my three favorite musical trainwrecks that I just can't look away from. Let's take a few minutes to see who has the least promising career in music!

Let's start with Tila, who just happens to be on a 3 club tour of Australia. Yep, you heard right, just three. She is performing her trashy hit " I Fucked the DJ" You can watch the video of her soundcheck here. But I must warn you, your ears may bleed. Also take note of the sunglasses. They look like my Great Grandma took a Bedazzler to her glasses she had to wear for her glaucoma. Anyways, here is that link:

I also attempted to find another live performance by Tila, but the only thing besides her Ustream video's that comes up is an 8 second clip taken by a cell phone camera. So for her, there is no video's showing her with back up dancers or a band. Now for the FUN stuff! Tila released " I Love U" on Itunes in 2007, and the single sold only approx. 13,000 copies, which made her about $8600.

Here are the lyrics to " I fucked the DJ" All you have to do is read these to understand why her crappy music sells so little.

Let's move on to Heidi. She has such high hopes of becoming the next Britney Spears that she underwent numerous plastic surgeries in one day because she thought she needed to do that to become successful. How very sad.

To be honest, Heidi's first album did even worse than Tilas. It sold a mere 658 copies in its first week of release. Ouch. But let's look at the things she does beat Tila at. Her first major performance was at The Miss Universe Pageant. She even had back up dancers! I am not gonna sit here and say l thought she did a good job performing...because she didn't. I am simply pointing out that Tila has NEVER performed anywhere with such a big audience and back up dancers. But for real, Heidi, you are the worst lip syncer on the planet. You can watch her video here and form your own opinion.

Besides if her career completely bombs she always has Spencer's career to fall back on.

Lastly, we have Brooke Hogan. It is super creepy that her dad is marrying someone that looks just like her. And that her mom is dating some kid the same age as her brother Nick. But that isn't what I am here to discuss. Brooke out of all 3 of these ladies has sold the most records/singles and has actually had a single reach the top 100. (#97 to be exact). Her album sold 127,000 copies. She also won a Teen Choice Award. Brooke has the most accomplishments in regards to music compared to the others. You can see the full list here on her Wikipedia page.

I still don't think she is all that talented but I think out of the 3 she has the best chance for some sort of success. Here is a video of her performing. She definitely is not the best dancer and is also just a professional lip syncer. But here is her video. It is just a short clip. You don't need to see a whole performance to get the idea.

If I had to rank them from least most successful it would go as follows.

#3 Tila Tequila. This is based on the fact that all of her performances are filmed in her house and posted on Ustream by Tila herself. Also, because all of her songs are about nothing more than the fact she is a complete whore and a slut. Check out the lyrics for I fucked the DJ for the proof.

#2 Heidi Montag. She is really going to go nowhere, but at least she made it to performance in front of millions of people.

#1 Brooke Hogan. She has the most accomplishments and has actually worked with some big names in the industry. I still wouldn't buy any of her albums though.

This was just for fun, I am in no way a professional music critic, but I am a huge music fan and appreciate songs and artist's from all genre's and I would never buy any of these women's albums. Except maybe to give as a gag gift. Happy Birthday Mom!

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Right on the money!

I seriously laughed so hard when I saw this work of art from my twitter pal @hurrdurrrrr. ( she is hilarious) If you aren't following her I would highly recommend doing so! I am so happy she is letting me post this and I hope anyone who see's it enjoys it as much as I do!